Poetry Month, Day 10: Uncertainty

Uncertainty

The figures on the screen
Stark
Erotic
Unbridled
Arouse only questions in me
Would I?
Could I?
Am I still capable of such response?
Am I capable, any longer, of such trust?
In the past, attempts at intimacy brought me
Betrayal
Shame
Rejection
Why on earth would I think such a thing
Within my purview now?
Now, when I am
Older
Colder
Often more reticent observer than carefree participant
Will I ever be that woman?
Could I still?
Do I want to be?
I don’t know if I envy her bravery
Or pity her trust,
Or both at once.

Copyright ©2015 C. Mitchell

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9 thoughts on “Poetry Month, Day 10: Uncertainty

    • Yes, but the question is: who am I now? My reaction when viewing material with a romantic or sexual slant is different than it used to be, that’s for sure. :}

      • One of the more enlightening things I’ve read about traumatic experiences lately is (paraphrasing) the assertion that you will never be who you were before again, that person is gone, so you do have to figure out who you are now.

        On this theme, I also think my hormones are starting to play a role. There are reactions to things I used to be able to count on that are starting to change.

  1. I think the video I was watching, a music video, also added to the mystery. Without a plot, I had to populate the backstory with possible motivations etc, and started wondering these things. Not for the first time.

    • Oh!! And I wrote this after watching the video that inspired your set of poems. lol They were fascinating.

      • It sure was, wasn’t it? I ended up writing quite a few NSFW poems that I couldn’t post anywhere lol and I’m still writing them! But it was definitely great for self exploration for me.

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