My secret job title

So, wow. I haven’t blogged in almost a full month, and it’s not for any bad reason. It’s because there’s been so much going on. 

There’s a guy… kind of. Online guy. Far away. We’re not going past the “hey, I think you’re cool. We should meet up someday” stage right now, despite the fact that we’ve been talking for a while… and that’s just fine. Maybe sometime we will. I think I’d like that. We’ll see. :} In the meantime, it’s fun. He’s fun. And it’s undemanding, which is just perfect. 

My job is… insufficiently lucrative, but I’m working at it nice and hard. So that’s good. I’m finally present enough to put in the kind of effort I haven’t been able to in a long time, and I’ve started protecting myself enough to put this effort into my own business and my own work instead of someone else’s (and then getting blamed for doing it wrong, or not enough, or whatever). 

I have SO many ideas in my head right now that I’m having trouble finding enough time in the day for them all. For example, because money is tight, I’m learning how to budget properly for the first time EVER. I know. Hush. Some of us come late to the party. – I’m also elbows-deep in another idea for a complicated future project I’m starting to shepherd into… well. Not into life. Maybe into gestation. I’m still thinking it through. Not certain what it’s going to be yet. But the pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together, sort of, I think. – Meanwhile, I have workshops and seminars scheduled from here to three states from here almost every weekend from now until the end of June. And there are a million little line items I’m supposed to be taking care of, and I’m sure I’m dropping balls right left and center. Oy. I’m making lists like a fiend. We’ll see, at the and of the summer, how I did. :}

Anyway. 

The reason I’m here typing tonight, when I had no intention to be doing any such thing, is this. I was reading a blog and a question came up and slapped me between the eyes. It’s something I need to think about, and I think best when writing. So, lucky you guys, you get to hear this through with me. The question was the second one here: it’s easy to define a “public” job title, certainly as it pertains to a job. As such a job description pertains to your life and the work you really want to be doing in your life, 1) Do you feel you’re doing that work? (my answer is yes) and if so: 2) What is your “secret” job title, the one no-one knows, but that you’re truly trying to live out day to day? Do you feel you’re living it, and if not, how can you live it more fully? 

So, here goes. 

My “public” job title, of course (or maybe not so “of course” if you didn’t know) is Dance Teacher. I joyously and gently shepherd teen-through-adult students into knowledge of ethnic dance forms. I am not the teacher who kicks your ass; I am the teacher who understands that you have a wonky knee and no sense of rhythm, and who will help you modify the movements or even just let you do your own free-spirited version of what the class is doing. I want to include you, to fold you into the experience, to let you exist in a space of less stress and more breath, and hopefully with a sense that you’ve been part of a community for an hour. That is my mission, my goal, and my pride. 

A “secret” job title is harder to define. Although, now that I’ve typed that… it would read like the paragraph above and would be “Joy Facilitator”. Or maybe “Love Facilitator”. Ooh. There. I want people to feel more love. Not only romantic love, but also love for themselves, for other humans in general. Love as self-esteem and also as tenderness for their own flaws and errors and sins, both of omission and commission. I feel like everybody tries. And if you’re not trying, well, that’s probably the most you can do at that moment. Been there, done that, failed to launder the T-shirt. 

Does that make sense?

Oh!! Speaking of laundry I didn’t do today… I’d better go do a load, before this Love Facilitator can’t facilitate underpants for tomorrow. :} 

Love yourself, if you can. If you can’t do that… try to hate yourself a little less, or to have a little less fear. That is my wish for you tonight. ❤ Light a candle, pour a glass of wine, watch your favorite movie. Give yourself a hug (if you must, do it where nobody can see you). Dance a little happy dance at your favorite part, even if it’s the gory part. For me, it’d be the part where they FINALLY SMOOCH. Sigh. Awwww. xoxoxo

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14 thoughts on “My secret job title

  1. “Love Facilitator” – I love that!!! And that is the best job of all (provided you are successful :-D). Whoever works with people can call themselves that. Top job. Should be hugely paid. Cos without you love facilitators out there, the world would be a dark place!!!
    Otherwise: you sound busy, but happy. I find being busy the best way of getting things done. The more you put on your plate, the more you get done. Keep at it – and soak up the satisfaction 🙂

  2. Sounds all good to me, Gigglepants!! What an interesting question. You secret job description. I know we all have them. I love Love Facilitator! We should all be that! I certainly try to be that in my job. I try to spread love wherever I am. I love people so it’s not hard for me! Sadly, some people don’t approve of it. They think it’s important to have “power” over other people. To make themselves feel “important”. Sad. But truly affecting me at the moment. 😦 Good for you, Love Facilitator!! There is no better job in my opinion! 😀

  3. Thank you Gigglepants. I’m a keep your head up and deal with life head on kind of person, don’t let things get you down. But….lately it’s been so many things I confess I secretly have been sinking. When I opened my email tonight and read your blog I started to tear up. My first thought was ‘I wish I lived near you cause I would sign up for your dance class right now!’ (I have two left feet and no sense of rythym). But I live in Canada. You definitely are succeeding as Love Facilitator because you made me remember to save a little love for myself and reminded me to ‘show’ a little love for everyone else. Everyone. Thanks!

    • Oh!! I’m so glad!! I wish you lived here because I wish I could give you a hug. I hate that feeling when it’s just so many things, one on top of another… I’m just climbing up out of that pit, and it stinks. And I come to Canada every once in a while, so next time I’m there, I should post it – and if it’s near you, I could deliver that hug and see how you’re doing now. Er, then. lol Whenever it is. xoxoxo Love from here!!

      • Hugs back to you, thanks! I feel better already. I’m in the GTA (Toronto area)…anytime is a good time to visit!

  4. Best “secret job title” ever! We need more “Love Facilitators.” I find more and more the Love Facilitators are the people I want to spend my time with (on the internet and IRL.) Thanks for writing 🙂

  5. Wish I’d had you when I had to take dance in college. I was the person always turning in the wrong direction with no rhythm. I aced the written tests and the instructor said, “Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got such a sharp brain.” LOL.

    This was a neat post. I’m not sure what my secret job title would be (napper?). I think my public one is professor / heretic.

    • We need more napping professor/heretics in this world. I nap unofficially, but I’m damn good at it. lol

    • And on a related note, my first “proper” dance teacher said to me: “your ass is smart, but your feet are sure stupid.” Well, I’ve always known I was a smartass. (rimshot)

    • lol Well, I’ve been “hired” for jobs before where the HR manager didn’t specifically tell me I was “official” until I’d been working there a full pay cycle and they needed my social security number. In both cases, I was on in contractor status previously; and I think this could be said to be a good analogy. lololol The upshot being, sometimes I’m dim on cues.

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